Heaviness of the ♥.

A friend of mine, KT, just broke up with her boyfriend of 12 years..

I knew her the same year I knew my friend, J.

J was my secondary school mate and today (16th), she is going to be married to J (her bf) of also 12 years..

How ironic is that.

KT asked me how did I managed to get through heartache, as this is her first. She had knew her bf, L, in secondary school too.

I told her, for me, it differs greatly on each of the relationship I had over the years.

For J, it took me a good 1 year plus to let him go. I remember my friend, D, was telling me to go read the book, it's call a breakup because it's broken. And given my character, I just got to realise over the recent years, I tell myself I have to be strong, and maybe due to the fact of my troubled secondary school years, I have built up a defensive wall around me. Whereas for K, I think I have said this one too many times, that it was weird, because 1.5 years of relationship compared to 4 months of relationship with J, but it took me only 3-4 months to get over him.

I told her I do things that can take my mind off the pain. I remember I read, read and read.. Time flies when you just read. I also cook and bake.. Mummy understood that was my way of relieving the pain.. I run and cry at the same time. At dawn, before the first light breaks through.. No one can see my tears and I remember at those times, I was sensitive to light and daylight. Brightness meant positiveness and that was the last thing I want to think about.

KT is really inconsolable.. She said she never felt so alone.. She don't know what's it like to go out shopping alone, have a meal alone, or even go to work alone. She and L were like super glue, or at least to us friends.. He ferries her to work, he is always there for her. As to why the breakup, I have not gotten the courage to ask her yet.

A 8  12 year relationship.. compare to my 1.5 year and 4 months relationship, I think I am able to know that my heartache is nothing compared to hers. Seeing her now, all I can do as a friend, is to hug and give tissues and just be there for her and have to make sure that she does stay sane. God bless her!